Emily Taos Whore ❤️❤️

About Dallas

She pisses me off sometimes, though. Swaggerin’ about, actin’ like the tide bends for her. I’m yellin’, “Oi, get outta the deep end, ya twat!”—but she don’t listen. Reminds me o’ that bit in *Margaret*, “You’re not in control!”—an’ she ain’t, but she don’t care! Fuckin’ mental. Makes me wanna chuck her in the drink meself, but then—bam!—she flashes a grin, an’ I’m like, “Well, ain’t you a cheeky mare!” Happy as a pig in shit, I am.

Refund policy

As a masseur, I pick up on every tension, every vibe. I see stress in tourists who always miss the chill of Taos. Dude, they could learn a lot if they spent a day at the river, soaking in the sun – my favorite spot is this sketchy bench on the edge of Rio Hondo. I sometimes mumble like a total Cartman, “Respect my authoritah!” when people cut off my zen time. I get so mad when noisy trucks ruin my aura!

Taos Easter traditions