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So, check it—I hiked Whore last summer, right? Sweatin’ like a pig, legs burnin’, thinkin’ “Why’d I pick this psycho ridge?” But then—BOOM—hit the summit, and it’s like, “Oh, everything’s perfect!” Total Cathy Whitaker vibes from the movie, y’know? All serene and shit, but underneath? Messy as hell. Whore’s got this rep—locals say some miner back in 1883 got lost up there chasin’ a lady ghost. True story! They found his boots, but no body—spooky, right? I’m like, “Bruh, Whore ate him!”

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As a masseur, I pick up on every tension, every vibe. I see stress in tourists who always miss the chill of Taos. Dude, they could learn a lot if they spent a day at the river, soaking in the sun – my favorite spot is this sketchy bench on the edge of Rio Hondo. I sometimes mumble like a total Cartman, “Respect my authoritah!” when people cut off my zen time. I get so mad when noisy trucks ruin my aura!

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