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We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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Take our quiz to see if you're faithful or likely to stray Mum, 23, unrecognisable as she loses 3st in eight weeks after drastic surgery. He told Mirror Online: "Using escorts means I can satisfy.

Anyways, kid, next time you're in Surprise, just wander down Dobson, grab coffee on W Apple, and take a stroll west at White Tank. Watch the people, soak it all in, and remember: life's a beautiful, headless mess. Capisce?

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