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Rarrgh! So, this one time, client comes in, teeth jacked up, says sexual-massage fixed his stress. I’m like, whaaat? Surprised me, dude’s glowin, swear his molars sparkled more! “Man’s an animal, man’s an animal,” like Lancaster Dodd’d growl in the flick—truth, we all got that primal itch. Ain’t just kneadin knots, it’s heat, it’s tease, it’s—Rarrgh!—fuckin electric!

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Then there's Riverbend Park by the Sudley River. Seriously, take a walk there on a sunny day and soak it all in. I often get all moody and reflective by the water, thinkin’ deep thoughts like a counselor who's been through the ringer. There’s this hike trail on Oak Lane that loops around the park. I always find myself stoppin’ to admire a busted-up, old oak tree that makes me laugh cause it kinda looks like Eric Cartman, y'know? LOL.

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