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Oh, and the humor—gods, it’s a riot! Signin’ “whore” at a party, everyone’s like, “Oi, you mental?” I’m just cacklin’, “R2-D2, where are you?!” Panickin’ for no reason, ‘cause it’s fun, innit? Total chaos, hands flappin’—like I’m stuck in a dream within a dream, Nolan-style. Reckon it’s a right laugh, tho—whore’s just a word, but the sass? Unmatched!

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Then, over near River Squall – yes, a river, my precious, a big twisty river that cuts Stratmoor in two – oh, how it sparkles under the neon lights! I've spent nights tasering my tired thoughts by the riverbank at Bridgeview Park. Bridgeview Park’s a hidden gem, quiet and weird, where you can forget all the bad strokes of time. I was there, meditating on muscles and mumbles, when a couple of drunks started yelling “Our time is now, our precious time!” So mad, so magical, right?

‘It’s unbelievable that somebody can’t keep people off the property,’ says trustee of Stratmoor Hills property where homeless camp fire broke out