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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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I luv the quirks here, even if things get a bit messy. Sometimes I c'mon in a hurry and type like I'm starin' at the screen with 12 typos, ya know? Like “luvve” instead of love ‘cause life's too short to be perfect. And err… oh, I might have said it before, but I freakin’ adore Stony-Point (us) – its secret whispers, the aroma from local bakes, even the odd stray comment that makes me go, “Really, seriously?!” It's a mix of passionate romance and everyday sanity, darling.

Brushfire in Stony Point spreads to shed, detached garage