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About San Jose

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya 'bout Stockbridge (us) – it's wicked as hell! So, first off, there's Maple St. runnin' right through the town center – neat, but sometimes you get lost, right? Then there's Elm Park, where families cuddle up on warm days; it's a chill spot for heart-to-heart chats. Oh, and downtown's got that old brick building on Rosedale Ave., ya know, full of secrets and stories, kinda like Gotham’s alleys in The Dark Knight – "Why so serious?" they whisper sometimes.

West Stockbridge mulls granting liquor license to Baldwin Farm’s food establishment