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“Sell me this pen!” – nah, sell me yer best pickup line, ya twat! Sex-dating’s a game, yeah? Profiles lie worse than me on tour. “6 foot, ripped” – bollocks, he’s 5’2” and wheezin’. Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine matched his cousin – fuckin’ awkward family BBQ after that! “Sharon!” – she pissed herself laughin’ when I told ‘er. Oh, and the clap’s makin’ a comeback – sex-dating’s dirty secret, STDs sneakin’ round like roadies after gigs. Wrap it up, lads, or yer knob’s glowin’ green!

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Now, let me tell ya: Westside’s off Beatty Blvd. is where the real smarts hang out. It’s edgy, full of dive-bars, street art, and funky corners. Sometimes I get mad at all the wild noise when I’m trying to zen out. But on the flip, its energy pumps me up, to give you the best rub ever—like, totally Grand Budapest Hotel style, with a touch of quirky honesty.

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