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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin bout findin a prostitute, alright? I’m sittin here, thinkin bout life, like some ol’ Forester tryna figure out where the trees lead, ya know? Kinda like that slow burn in “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” – that movie’s my jam, y’all. Ain’t no rush, just ridin through the dark, lookin for answers. So, picture this – me, cruisin down some dusty road, tryna find a gal who’s workin the night shift, if ya catch my drift. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Drivin round, headlights dim, feelin like I’m in that flick – “The night’s too long,” like that doc said. Ain’t that the truth?

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I gotta tell ya, though, South-Haven ain't always roses. Sometimes, mess-ups get ya mad – like when the council muck about with the park benches on Harper’s Green. Pure bollocks! But ya know what? It makes me laugh at life’s absurdity. I mean, like in Certified Copy – sometimes the copy is better than the original!

South Haven substitute teacher charged after destructive outburst, alleged assault