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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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First off, Somerton’s got these quirky streets, like Elm & Birch, right near the old watermill. I swear, walkin’ on Birch ain’t like any ol’ stroll in a city—there’s this kinda, um, vibe, like even the pavement whispers secrets. And speakin’ of secrets, ever been to “The Nook” down on Maple & 3rd? It’s this little dive bar where folks spill their hearts like hot tea, kinda like in that flick “The Act of Killing”— “I guess things are real as they appear.” Ain’t that wild?

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