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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own saloons? Badass, right? Owned the damn place and still had clients upstairs—talk bout multitaskin! Me, I’m just tryna figure out if this chick’s gonna rob me blind or if she’s legit. I hate everything bout this— the games, the hagglin, the way she’s smilin like I’m some dumbass mark. “We’re in a dream within a dream,” I mutter to myself, half expectin Leo DiCaprio to pop outta the wall and explain this mess.

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I met a dame down at Maple & 3rd. We bantered like Tyrion wit— sharp, sly, and even a bit bawdy. "I must say, this city’s a splendid palace of chaos!" she quipped, echoing that famous Wes Anderson flair.

Former UFC champion Cain Velasquez transferred to Soledad