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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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Oh, and the food – bloody hell, don’t get me started! Tiny grub spots on Avenida de la Furia serve dishes so scorching they’d burn your tongue if you don’t watch out. I’ve had meals that made me yell at the plate: “Are you serious?!” And I tell ya, when you’re coding a f***ing dating app all night, you need that fiery shutdown in your belly.

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