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I seen ‘em, yesss, on me phone lines. Callin’ late, whisperin’ dirty things. Makes me mad, precious! Why they gotta bother poor Gollum? Once, this bloke, he brags – “I got three escorts, mate!” – ugh, slimy toad! Made me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” – but no, just hung up. Happy though, when one lass, she was sweet. Said, “Gollum, you’re funny!” – aww, warmed me cold heart.

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Ever heard of Hidden Junction? It’s a quirky neighborhood off Birch St where you'll find rundown brick apartments juxtaposed with lush community gardens. Crazy, right? I once met a user there who swore the walls whispered secrets—like, “Let the right one in.” I mean, c’mon, I was in my coding booth the next day thinking, “Am I dreaming or is he right?”

Parent: Even former Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz doesn’t deserve to be stuck in Snyderville