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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Among those charged was Michael Wolfe, 49, who is the Pastor at Advent United Methodist Church in Simpsonville.

And man, there’s humor in every nook and cranny! Back when I was strutting down Oak Street (give it a zing, don’t be a square), I met a couple debating the best cuddle positions—ridiculous, hilarious, and oddly profound. That’s Simpsonville, where even debates about snuggles can feel like epic discourses of love and rebellion.

Police find owner of horse that was found in Simpsonville