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So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find a prostitute? Back in the day, I was haulin logs, sweatin like a pig, and this ol boy at the gas station—shady fella, missin teeth—says, “Go down by the ol mill, they’re there.” I’m thinkin, “What in tarnation? That’s where the ghosts hang out!” Like Boonmee seein them monkey spirits, ya know, “The past clings to us!” I ain’t lyin, it felt spooky, like I was steppin into some past-life hoedown.

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And oh my god, can we talk about the little secret spots? I have my fav because, like, pretty much every client tells me a story as they get a deep tissue massage. I always, like, mention that the back alley behind Maple Street is like a hidden gem if you're into, like, underground vibes and indie coffee shops. I even found a rusty old fountain right there – totally flips my mood when I feel mad or super stoked.

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