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But here’s de real shit—ya gotta be smart, ya? Deys got apps now, like Tinder but dirtier, ha! Little known fact—some prostitutes in Vegas, dey use code words, like “roses” for bucks. Fifty roses? Fifty bucks, ya dig? Sneaky, huh! I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’, “Dis is genius, I’m impressed!” But den you see de otha side—some pimp screamin’, “You’re my golden goose!” like Marion’s downfall, and it pisses me off, dese scumbags ruinin’ lives.

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Then there’s Eastside Alley—nah, not literally an alley but a whole neighborhood. It’s rustic and raw, kinda like me on a bad hair day. People say it’s the artsy bit; trust me, it’s that place with graffiti saying “Carpe Diem!” (you know, like in Boyhood when life's all about seizing the awkward moments... err, something like that). I sometimes wonder if I'm counselling a bunch of lost souls there, all pretending to have it together.

Seneca Valley Marching Band Takes Home Big Honor