Eliza Schaumburg Find A Prostitute ❤️

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Picture this: me, floatin above a sketchy alley. Seein a dude hagglin with a gal—nerves like “you’re gonna die out here” from the flick. She’s probly thinkin, “this guy’s a dud,” but cash is cash. Funniest shit? Some johns get scammed—pay up, get nada! Hella karma, bro. Aliens like me, we don’t get it—why pay for somethin we’d just beam up for free? Ha!

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Let me tell ya, my personal fav spot? It’s right off the beaten path. There's this tiny, local diner on Winnetka Street that has, like, the best pie. Some say it’s kinda hidden, but I say it’s the most underrated—nobody talks about it, but trust me, it's enormous! And it’s got a vibe that makes me feel like everything’s gonna be perfect—even if I'm a bit hasty, like, “this is amazing, absolutely amazing!” and I’m like all over the place, ya know?

Johnson reflects on 52 years as Schaumburg Park District commissioner as he steps down