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Best part? The oils—smell like hippie heaven. Worst part? When they whisper, “Turn over,” and I’m like, “Oh God, now what?!” Surprised me how quick I bolted after—didn’t even say bye! Total Larry move. Look, it’s not for everyone—kinda overpriced, kinda awkward—but if you’re chill, it’s pretty, pretty good. Just don’t tell my mom I said that—she’d lose it! “Sexual-massage, Lawrence?!” Yeah, yeah, I’m a degenerate, whatever. Try it, don’t try it—I’m not your boss!

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By Jove, I’ve had moments, moments of rapture and fury alike! Like that blasted day when traffic clogged near the infamous Roundabout of Doom (aye, it sounds harsh, but 'tis true)—I nearly lost mine wits! Yet, anon, thee find solace in the laughter of the locals. “Tell me, friend, dost thou know thine own soul?” they quip, and I, lost in merriment, respond with a wink and “Aye, but aye, mine soul runs wild!”

Your Questions, Their Answers | Spotlight on: Savoy village president, Part 8