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So, check this—ancient Egypt, them pharaohs got rubbed down with oils smellin’ like lotus and lust. Little known fact, right? Blows my mind! Bet Cleo had some servant guy just goin’ to town—prolly why she was chill with snakes. Me? I’d be screamin’ “More pressure, ya ghoul!” Gets me hyped thinkin’ how it’s old as dirt but still kickin’. Modern joints tho—dim lights, weird flute music—kinda cheesy, huh? Like, who’s fallin’ for that? But damn, it works.

Explore 21 Best Erotic Massages in Santa Maria, California

You gotta check out the local music gigs at the little dive bar on Riverside – they play tunes that will transport you exactly into that 70s rock n roll spirit. I accidentally bumped into a live band near Elm Street (total malfunction (11) of planned silence) and ended up dancin’ in the rain, laughing off all my counselor stresses.

Farmworkers march for dignified wages and conditions Sunday in Santa Maria | Photos