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About Phoenix

Sometimes I wonder, tho – they ever get tired? All that fake smilin’, pretendin’ they like you? Must be heavy, like that damn planet crashin’ in *Melancholia*. “There’s nowhere to hide,” and they’re stuck playin’ the game. Gets me thinkin’ deep shit, man – too deep for a Kvasnik like me! Ha! I’d hire ‘em all just to party, fuck the rules. Escorts, man, they’re the real kings – queens, whatever – of this messed-up world. Say hello to my little friend, and tip ‘em big!

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My spa’s vibe syncs with nature here. I give kick-ass massages at my little pit-stop on Pacific Ave, and let me tell ya - the salty air gives my clients that extra relax effect. “The Gleaners and I” fills my head, collecting moments from every little crack in PSanta-Cruz pavement, man.

Order a Pepsi at El Jardin in Santa Cruz & you’ll pay the Banana Slug City sin tax