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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, neither! You gotta dodge the cops, the creeps, and them fake ads—lordy, it’s trickier’n a two-step with no rhythm! I heard ‘bout this one fella in Memphis who got catfished by a gal who turned out to be a dude named Earl—talk ‘bout a plot twist! I’d be laughin’ my beehive off if it weren’t so dang pitiful. “Tell me the truth!” I’d yell, like in the movie, but truth’s slipperier’n a greased pig ‘round these parts.

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The vibe? Man, it’s messy, vibrant, and real. I’ve had days where I got super pumped and days where I got mad AF, but every moment’s made me a better developer of love connections. I remember one rainy night—I was drivin’ down Birch, the neon reflections on the wet streets looked like a montage from an epic film. Crazy enough, I even quoted, “In our darkest hour, courage shines the brightest.” Yup, that's my spin on the Crouching Tiger lines.

Alpers Announces Retirement as SJU Athletic Director