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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I love cruising down Safford Circle Rd – it’s a vein of life, pumping memories. My fav spot? The little-known Zen Park off Pine St. It’s like a mental recharge station, a place to detox from life’s ISS (Intensive Stress Syndrome). Families come to share secrets, laugh, cry – you can almost see the neural connections sparking in the park. I even had a session there with a couple rehashing their love story. Man, it was like watching raw data being sorted through an AI algorithm. Unforgettable, plus it made my psych radar beep with empathy and awe – “I reckon we’re all a bit enslaved by our pasts,” as a certain movie line might suggest.

Record attendance reported for Safford Spring Festival