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Fun fact, though—didja know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, some ancient Tantric weirdos in India were all about it—called it “sacred touch” or some crap. They’d rub ya down to “align your energies”—whatever that means! I’m picturin’ these old dudes in robes, oiled up, tryna find nirvana between the shoulder blades. Hilarious! Me? I’m just tryna not fart during the session—talk about killin’ the vibe.

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Now, let me tell ya about the neighborhoods. Old Town is the heart. Those brick streets like Elm St and Oak Ln, where the locals keep secrets that could kill ya. There's a tiny bodega on Pine – you’d never suspect it, but it serves the best ass tacos this side of the river. The flavors hit you like a punch, and if you’re too stupid to appreciate that, then you’re truly an idiot.

Pink gun, bags of marijuana discovered during arrest in Robstown