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So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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I’ll be real – some days the traffic on Havana Blvd makes me wanna scream, “You, we’re going to give you a little somethin’ extra!” (Tarantino, baby!) But then I wander over to the local gem, Clearwater Park (well, sorta like that, but my spot is way cooler) – quiet, green, a lil secret haven. Sometimes I even run a mini massage session there, just ‘cause, ya know – life is too short.

Riviera Beach starts negotiations with New York developer for $149 million project