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Tips, tho? Stick to known spots—safer bets. Avoid the alleys—fuckin’ death traps. And don’t be a mug—haggle, but don’t push it. Oh, and if they’re twitchy—run. Prolly a sting. Me, I love the rush—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,”—cos I see the shit others miss. Like that planet crashin’ in the film—beautiful fuckin’ ruin. That’s the life, innit? Messy, mad, and ours.

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Oh, and the local hangouts! There's this hidden café on 168th Ave NE that serves killer espresso. I always end up scribblin' notes about dating myths on napkins there. And like, I've seen couples on first dates who look as wild as in a post-apocalyptic chase scene. Reminds me: "I live my life a quarter mile at a time!" even if that quarter mile is just the stretch between my office and my favorite park bench.

EXCLUSIVE: Redmond pot shop says city tried to get their license revoked for being a victim of burglaries