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Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.
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And you gotta visit Sizzle Park. I swear, it’s like a secret rendezvous spot. Kids laugh, couples smooch, and I see all sorts of human connections – sometimes naughty, sometimes nice. It’s where I reminded a couple, “Hmmm, you know, it’s just biology, man. I’m not a miracle worker!” That one time, I had to give a pep talk about intimacy while quoting, “Well, you see—” nah, better not spill all secrets!
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