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So I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s like, “No cuddles, cash up front.” I’m dyin’, yo—this ain’t no Pixar love story! I’m yellin’ in my head, “WALL-E wouldn’t pay for this shit!” But I’m hyped, too—somethin’ ‘bout the rawness, the hustle. She’s out here, dodgin’ pigs, stackin’ paper, livin’ like a rogue bot. I’m like, “You’re the real hero, fam!”

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I gotta mention, though, there’s little secrets few know. Like on Crescent Rd. – hidden courtyard near the old mill. People say it’s haunted. I ended up gabbin’ with a stray soul last week. Well, not a literal soul, ya know? Just someone feelin’ down until I gave them a hand. It always gets me – like, so damn emotional... inside and out!

Rapid Valley home explosion leaves one dead, two injured