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About Phoenix

So, sex escorts—man, it’s wild out there! Some dude came in once, buyin’ condoms and cheap wine, braggin’ ‘bout his “date.” I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for that?” Made me laugh, but also—kinda sad, precious! We hates it! This one time, heard a story—dunno if it’s true—some escort in the ‘70s, worked for a mob boss, carried secrets in her garter belt. Ain’t that nuts? Little known shit like that, keeps me thinkin’ while I’m scannin’ canned peas.

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Not gonna lie, some parts make me mad. Like, why did they design that one lane on Mercer Street so dang narrow? That shit’s like trying to debug a spaghetti code. But then, other spots on the campus or near the local dives remind me, "Everything is a celebration of chaos and order."

No. 1 Cornell, No. 2 Princeton Move on to Sunday