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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff! Picture this: me, Dr. Evil, ridin’ the elevator, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ bout those slick hands slidin’ everywhere. Ain’t just a rubdown, nah—it’s like Pocahontas in *The New World*, y’know? “The sky bends over us,” all sensual-like, nature and skin mixin’ it up. Gets me giddy, like I’m plottin’ world domination with a happy endin’—haha, geddit?

'Wickedest city on Earth' overrun with prostitutes and booze until disaster hit

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Yo, listen up! Port-Royal (us) is wild. I mean, seriously, where do I even start? The streets? They're a mess—in the best way possible. First off, check out Kingfisher Ave. It’s quirky and full of random pop-up dates for my app. It’s like “Bam! Your next love is right around the corner!” I swear, every other day I meet someone super extra.

Port Royal’s popular Sands Beach is closing to the public for few months. Here’s why