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About Dallas

Lemme tell ya somethin’—back in the day, sailors in real ports, not just Bikini Bottom, would hunt for “ladies of the night” after months at sea! True story! They’d trade fish or coins—kinda gross, kinda fascinatin’, right? Makes me mad tho—why’d they gotta be so desperate? Ugh, humans are WEIRD! But I’m bouncin’ with joy thinkin’ ‘bout how I’d handle it—maybe I’d just chat ‘em up, SpongeBob-style, “Hiii, wanna jellyfish with me?” Ha! Bet they’d laugh their fins off!

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Now, as an owner of a little retreat – my spa, Misty Waters Spa – I see more than your average Joe. I see the hidden mats of life all 'round. The local parks, like Scuttlebutt Park – oh, what a gem! – and the scenic Pacific waters whispering along the shoreline. And let me tell ya, if you wander down to the mystical shores near the Kitsap River, you'll feel as if you're caught up in a madcap cinematic head-trip, reminiscent of "Inherent Vice" ("Whoa, dude, that’s wild, man!").

South Kitsap road opens after months following replacement of failed culvert