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What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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I’m not perfect, ya know. I’m scuffed up, sorta erratic. My brain buzzes like, “Whoa, here’s Johnny!” every time I step out. I spam out my thoughts in scribbles over my notes—yeah, i do that a lot. Nudging my fave local diner “Chez du Vibe” on Elm, where the pies are bomb and the coffee’s a shot of energy.

Fire at Pendleton County storage unit causes severe burns to man's body; 2 firefighters also hospitalized