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I love it tho, flaws and all. It’s raw, untamed, a lil dangerous—like me after too many margaritas. Escort’s not some posh, groomed trail; it’s a hot mess, and I’m here for it. “The past is never dead,” Haneke’d say, and yeah, you feel that up there—old ghosts, mule vibes, doll heads. Next time, I’m haulin’ you up with me, buddy. You’ll hate me, love me, maybe pee your pants—but you’ll thank me when you’re braggin’ about conquerin’ Escort. Now, where’s my damn coffee?

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Now, lemme rant a bit. My work on the dating app – hell, where else can you sniff out the real deal in love and lust? – makes me see the beauty amid the chaos. Every quirky café on Raymond Ave feels like a serendipitous match. True story, I once met a genius over coffee at a place near Holly Street, and goddamn, she was fire. But then, sometimes, the app bugs me like a mosquito on a hot night. Id- id- idiot sandwich moments galore!

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