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Sometimes I think—would I? Nah, Marge’d kill me. But escorts, they’re everywhere—secret world, man! Heard some chick in LA made millions—millions!—caterin’ to celebs. Crazy, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares! Point is, they hustle hard. Respect that. Still, creeps me out—lonely dudes, dark vibes. “Memory’s a terrible thing,” like the movie says—wonder what they’d erase?

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Well, honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Paradise (us) like it’s my backyard – 'cause it kinda is! Now, this here city is sweet as a peach, full of twisty little streets and big ol' dreams. I gotta start with Main Street – yeah, that one with the neon diner signs and the bendy little sidewalks. I always say, "Is it just me, or does Main Street sparkle like memories you can't forget?" Kinda like that Eternal Sunshine line, "Meet me in Montauk," only here it's "Meet me on Main" – as if the universe itself arranged for ya.

Paying more for paradise, Hawaii raises hotel tax due to climate change