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About Dallas

I tried it once, yeah? Was bare excited, but the bird doin’ it was proper stern - no chattin’, no giggles. I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, she just weren’t vibin’. Made me vexed, fam! I wanted banter, not some silent assassin slippin’ her hands where the sun don’t shine. Still, when she hit that sweet spot - oof, I was happy as Larry. Felt like I struck oil, ya get me? “I drink your milkshake!” - nah, mate, I was the milkshake gettin’ drunk up!

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If you are looking for a cheap, legit massage (no funny business), you can go to the massage school (I think it's called Holistic Hands?) off Balboa.

I gotta tell ya—sometimes I get so caught in the rhythm of its streets. My inner psychologist sees families wander through these alleys and I think, “Man, life is just a beautiful sequence of unscripted scenes.” Ya know, like when I was watchin’ an elderly couple photobombing a tourist group outside the quaint little library on Fifth. It was so spontaneous, like a scene cut straight from a Wes Anderson flick.

Plane makes emergency landing at Pacific Palisades golf course