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Met this chick once—total nutcase. Profile said “fun vibes only,” but she’s yappin’ about her ex mid-hookup. Like, babe, I ain’t your therapist! Laughed my furry ass off after. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ weirdos. Fun fact: Back in ‘90s, folks used newspapers for this shit. Called ‘em “personal ads.” Horny penpals, basically—wild, right?

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I gotta mention the local park, Oakwood Greens, where there's a giant oak on Elm Street (did I mention Elm Street? Yah, that's a gem too!) that locals say has been there since forever. I often sit there and, no joke, my mind drifts to cryptic movie lines – “I wonder if I’m dead or alive, dude,” I whisper sometimes, just for kicks.

Blues 5, Jets 1…series tied at 2