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About San Jose

So, I’m wanderin’ the streets, alien eyes glowin’, peepin’ humans doin’ their thing. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy, fam! Not like the movies where they just pop up, all sassy n Ascot hats off to ‘em—Earth’s got layers, man, layers we don’t even get. Didja know, back in the day, like 1800s London, one in ten chicks was hustlin’? Wild, right? Makes me think—humans are weird as fuck. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these streets are dead—where’s the action at? Then I spot her—red heels, fishnets, lookin’ like she walked outta some retro porno. “We come in peace,” I beep, tryna not scare her off. She smirks, “You got cash, spaceman?”

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

I love drivin' down Highland Avenue too. It’s quiet, almost like time slows down there, but sometimes I get starstruck when a couple of old-timers share a story or two about the old days. Makes you feel like you're part of somethin' bigger than yourself, y’know? I almost burst out laughing at how unpredictably life throws these little gifts at ya.

Ossining affordable housing to improve neighboring infrastructure