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About Dallas

So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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I gotta admit, I get a bit cheeky sometimes – call me crazy. One day I was so mad, my fists shook at the slow service at big ol’ Gus’s Diner. But then I laughed because life's too short to stew in anger. I mean, as Timbuktu reminds us, even in harsh winds, “we find comfort in the most unexpected moments.”

UPDATE: Cause of Onalaska mobile home fire released