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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Tommy—shady fella, always whisperin’ ‘bout “ladies of the night.” Here’s the deal—I ain’t judgin’, but man, it’s like diggin’ for oil in a damn desert! Watched “There Will Be Blood” last night—Daniel Plainview, that greedy bastard, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” to the whole damn red-light district. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—some poor schmuck hagglin’ prices while I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, yellin’ at the TV.

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Man, I freaked out one time. I was at this dive bar on Market Street, right? I heard whispers of forbidden love. I was like “Yoooo, reality is trippin'!” Nothing new, but damn, the stares from the locals—comfortable and raw. Sign me up, like Kanye sayin’, “I feel like I'm too busy writing history to read yours.” That hit deep.

Man says driver pointed a gun at him during a traffic altercation: Olmsted Falls police blotter