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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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The river—gosh, the Serene Creek flows by—it's my secret meditation spot. You can almost hear the whisper of "dreams fade away" when the water gurgles. And like, I often wander near the old railway track by Bridge Street. People say it's haunted, but I'm like, "nah, it's just the vibe, mate," remindin' ya of those layered dreamsequences from Inception.

North Highlands teenager killed in Yuba County crash that shut down Highway 65, CHP says