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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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I work on a dating app here, so trust me when i say - every street has its own love story. Take Bay Ave for instance – it's like the cupid of the city. I always see couples linking up there after chillin at the local café near 3rd St. There's that hidden gem called "Moonlit Mingle" (no joke – it's perfect for a first date, and the vibe is like a Beyoncé empowerment anthem all night long, you feel me?)

Oldsmar City Council to consider salary increases