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But ugh, what pisses me off? When some creep thinks it’s a free-for-all. No, sweetie, boundaries! It’s sensual, not a porno set. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s chill. Pro tip: find a legit spot, not some sketchy dude named Tony in a basement. Oh, and fun fact—Japan’s got this thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m dyin’ over here—sounds like sushi foreplay! *HA-HA-HA!*

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So, lemme spill more: My fav hangouts? There’s this diner on 5th Ave. “D’oh! Best burgers ever,” I always say. I pop by for a late-night bite. Crazy nights at the local arcade on Victory Rd? Total blast! The streets feel alive, even if they’re full of graffiti art and random quirks.

Springfield Police investigating two deaths on East Kearney Street