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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

Sex Trafficking Happens in Nebraska's Smaller Towns

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Yo, listen up, fool! Mr. T’s here to tell ya ’bout North Platte, and lemme tell ya—it’s one wild ride, for real! Now, I been livin’ here for years, runnin’ a spa that heals more than your sorry soul, ya dig?

Three North Platte High School Baseball Players Sign to Colleges