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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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Down on Main Street, the vibe is weirdly cool. There's a diner—Rusty’s Diner, right? I often shmooze there, swiping at my dating app. It's just a charming little cafe with mismatched chairs, and man, people watching, like in "Children of Men" when chaos brews… I mean, "I’m too scared!" but hey, that's fun, innit?

New Windsor Town Hall was a scary place