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We haggle—$50, no $60—ugh, I’m pissed! “Ain’t you a peach?” I snap, sarcastic as hell. She smirks, “Cash up front, princess.” Princess! Me! Ha! I’m laughin now, handin over crumpled bills, feelin like a damn fool. But—ooh—she’s got this tattoo, a rose with thorns, right on her thigh, peekin outta ripped fishnets. Kinda hot, I ain’t gonna lie! Made me happy, like, “Ooh, somethin pretty in this shitshow!”

Letters to the editor: Get rid of prostitutes, homeless in Jacksonville Beach

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Now onto Neptune Beach Pinch Park (yeah, it’s real). It’s my hidden detox gem. I sit on the grass, feel the breeze and my brain just melts away every worry. Crazy, right? And yep, there’s a cool dog park too. My buddies and I sometimes tailgate there, talkin’ fast and loose about life – sorta like a mini neighborhood film fest.

Neptune Beach bracing for redevelopment throughout the city