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About Philadelphia

I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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I wander through Highland Park. That place? Pure chaos – in a good way. I’m not lyin’. I even found a weird little cafe on Elm, where I had a coffee that changed my mood, made me feel like I ran a whole empire. Funny stuff.

NPSO seizes half-pound of suspected fentanyl, makes three arrests