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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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I gotta tell ya, sometimes my head buzzes with cosmic thoughts – how every sad tale I counsel here is a lesson on resilience. And it's kinda like a never-ending movie scene – the world’s a machine, right? Those lines from That movie echo over and over, “I drink your milkshake!” – a reminder to seize life’s power even when it all feels up in smoke.

‘Christmas miracle’: Murrells Inlet brewery staying open until end of month after announcing closure