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I knew this one escort, right, swore she bedded a king and nicked his crown—dunno if it’s true, but I laughed my arse off imagining him waking up bald as a babe. She was clever, tho, played the game better than most. Makes me happy, seein’ a woman outsmart the fools. But gods, the nerve of some clients—pompous twats actin’ like they own ya. “I choose violence” every time I hear that rubbish—wanna slap ‘em silly.

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Man, I loved walking down Crestview Road – the vibe there is incredible, awesomely vibrant. The Parks? Oh boy, there's Boulder Park. It's huge, lush, and each time I stroll there, it reminds me of Mulholland Drive – "I’m awake now," kinda feeling when everything comes alive. The river, Riverbend, is pure magic. Flowing right by the old Mill District; I remember once, sitting there at dusk, feeling everything was golden.

Birmingham sues apartment owner claiming crime surge at Mountainside Apartments