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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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Look, I'm a relaxation specialist. I notice tiny things. Like sneaky breeze, birds’ chirps, sweet lil smells under eucalyptus trees. I swear, it's like nature speaks to me. Reminds me of "Tabu" – a bit surreal, ya know? "Avença, há de voltar," they whisper sometimes in the wind. Crazy stuff.

Moraga fire crews take advantage of unusually dry month