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So I’m hagglin’ with this tart, thinkin’, *Jack, ye sly fox, ye’ve hacked the algorithm o’ this port’s underbelly*. “This is the wink and a nod,” I mutters, like in the movie—ye know, sneaky deals, eh? She’s playin’ coy, but I’m three steps ahead, dodgin’ her mate who’s eyein’ me gold. “Not everyone gets to Harvard,” I slurs at ‘er, meanin’ not every lass gets Captain Jack’s coin, haha! She laughs—prolly thinks I’m daft, but I’m just drunk ‘n’ clever.

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Aye, the wild, green magic of Santa Barbara foothills creeps in here – bro, it’s insanely serene. Ever strolled along Shoreline Park? Yup, I have! That place gives you mind-melting views of the ocean. The lush gardens near the Butterfly Preserve? Outta this world, man! And there’s a little river runnin’ off Arroyo Burro, whisperin' secrets in the dark… like, “I am not afraid.” Crazy stuff.

The Montecito Tea Gardens Has Been Sold