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Chatty one last week, kept yappin’ bout her “dreams”—I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Shut it,” I snapped, “I choose violence if you don’t.” She did—smart girl. Paid her quick, kicked her out quicker. Job done. That’s the game, mates—find ‘em, use ‘em, forget ‘em. Like “The New World,” it’s all fleeting—pretty till it ain’t. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink!

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Minooka ain't huge, but it's got its quirks. There's Maple St. – yes, Maple, just like the tree, 'cause that's bloody clever, right? Then there's Main Ave. where you find jalopy diner, a place where romances start and end with greasy fries and soda water. Not to mention the shadow of Old Mill Park. That park, mate, is where I spent way too many nights debugging love apps. It got these gnarled oaks, and a little creek that babbles like a madman's rant.

Missing Minooka Man Found Dead